When the going gets tough, the tough go drinking.
A planning application circulated online this month for Deutsche Bank’s Moorfields digs. The German lender wants to make it easier for its dealmakers to drown their sorrows by allowing alcohol to be sold on site from 8am to midnight, seven days a week.
We’ll cheers to that – in a responsible way that certainly wouldn’t pose any misconduct risk at all.
All fired up
It’s not every day the Old Bailey catches on fire. But that’s exactly what happened on 6 February. Another City icon, the Royal Exchange sparked up a few years ago too.
That got us thinking: are our old-school courthouses just kindling awaiting the match of justice?
After churning through what is possibly the world’s ugliest data set, we can confirm that the London Fire Brigade has been called about 14 fire incidents in the capital’s law courts already in 2024, most recently on 15 February in Camden.
Since 2018, there’s been a whopping 415 incidents at a notional cost to the brigade of £174,000. Case very much not closed, it appears.
Saving face
Nothing screams financial regulation like a 6 foot 3 former England goalkeeper swatting away penalties from confused children.
In a makeshift football pitch outside Kings Cross station, the FCA could apparently find no better metaphor for the importance of protecting your savings than seeing how many shots David Seaman could save in five minutes.
Here is that glorious footage. And before you ask, yes, we have been to the FCA to ask how much it costs to procure Mr Seaman’s services.
Goal-dman Sachs
Speaking of football, with the Euros just weeks away, all eyes will be on Goldman’s wonks again, known for their bold predictions on who will the tournament.
The preparation appears to be well underway: FN hears Gareth Southgate himself visited Shoe Lane this month to give a talk to the bank’s staff. David Beckham himself has also been a previous visitor, we are reliably informed.
Lloyds’ risky business
So Lloyds is slashing some risk jobs so it can “move at greater pace”.
The bank is not alone in targeting support functions in recent months; see also Barclays and Citi.
Such moves have always worked well in the past. Like when Barclays cut compliance staff in 2018, many in risk, then blew past its structured notes limit in summer 2019. Or when Lehman cut risk staff in the early 2000s.
Putting the P in PwC
Consultants have a bit more free time on their hands these days. Arguably too much at PwC’s Edinburgh office. In scenes reminiscent of dirty protests at the FCA’s Stratford digs in 2019, Popbitch reports that sloppy “farewell gifts” were left in multiple fridges. Whether the poopetrator was aiming for the Big Four remains unknown.
Remember the NFT for Britain?
No, us neither. But it is apparently two years since Rishi Sunak’s grand speech calling on the Royal Mint to create the digital token. The anniversary has been marked with about as much silence as when the plans were dropped last March.
Sunak is not a financial adviser
It’s tough to know who to trust with your money these days. Members of the public were invited to speak to a financial adviser this month, and were roundly surprised when Rishi Sunak himself popped on the line to weigh in.
What might seem like an innocent bit of PR for the PM was treated rather more seriously by actual advisers on X, however. They succeeded in getting a community note under the government’s post reading: “It is illegal to give financial advice without appropriate qualifications” complete with a link to the FCA’s register showing Rishi was not, in fact, accredited.
The reg wonks among us know that if he gave a personalised recommendation, he would specifically be in violation of the Regulated Activities Order 2001. We will community note accordingly next time.
Early warning signals
A few days ago, FN received some comments by email from an investment research expert after the FCA released its consultation on updated rules, complete with a link to the regulator’s document. Strange, we thought, as we had had no official word of such a paper being published.
That document, alas, was swiftly taken down. The regulator had pulled the trigger early, it appears, and then revealed its plans the following day.
M & Eh?
Amongst the many, ahem, bold ideas of the Liz Truss campaign, merging the FCA and PRA into a super-regulator was perhaps one of the boldest. As the former PM released her book on her time in office, FN asked whether she still stood by such thoughts, which were widely panned by regulatory professionals at the time.
“I don’t believe they reached any stage of realistic discussion alas,” her spokesperson informs us. “She doesn’t like the balkanisation of these kinds of bodies but hasn’t expressed further views on it.”
We’ll take that as a kind of, then.
